Well it's taken me 2 1/2 weeks to update this blog, but it's not easy typing with one hand. Things are going great. Sleep deprived? You bet, but it's all worth it. Andrew and I are so in love with her. Oh and apologies in advance for poor grammar - I'm half asleep writing this.
I wanted to write down her birth story before it got really fuzzy. A lot of this is a blur at this point, but I’m lucky that my doula wrote down timeframes for me. Here is what I remember:
I woke up at 2am Friday July 29th with stomach cramps that I attributed to the Mexican food we ate at dinner. I was able to go back to sleep around 5am and then woke up around 7. I told Andrew that I was feeling weird before he left for work. I noticed a few Braxton Hicks and felt a lot more pressure in my, ahem, bottom. I ate cereal around 7:30 and then decided that a decent workout might kick me into labor. I went on the elliptical for 45 minutes and then did about 15 minutes of free weights.
Since I was technically 6 days overdue, I had an NST scheduled at my OB’s office at 10:30am. I made sure to shave my legs in the shower and put on some makeup…just in case. Mom was in town so came with me to the appointment. Once at the office, the nurse hooked me up to the fetal monitor and came back to check on me in 15 minutes. She asked if I could feel the contractions I was having every 3 minutes. I felt the typical BH “tightening” I had been feeling for weeks, but nothing that I thought would be considered a real contraction. She then called my doctor in. Apparently every time I had a contraction, Adalyn’s heartrate would drop significantly. My Dr. said this is common for past-due infants and that if I had made any progress in dilation, etc., she wanted to send me upstairs for induction. She checked me and I was 2cm dilated and 90% effaced. She also let me know that she could feel some scar tissue on my cervix. I had crysosurgery years ago to treat precancerous cells and she said it was from that. Dr. H also said that this often prevents women from dilating and that I should not only prepare myself for a long labor, but prepare myself for the possibility of a c-section. Ughhhhhh. She stripped my membranes for a 3rd time and sent me upstairs to start….dun dun dun…pitocin. I called Andrew at work and told him to get here as soon as possible. The next train wasn’t for another hour, so he had his intern drive him to the hospital...that provided me with a much needed laugh at the time. I called Kadi, our doula, and asked her to come as soon as possible. I knew pitocin contractions were intense and I would need her sooner than later. Mom and I cried…it was so much to take in and I couldn’t believe I would be meeting my daughter within the next 24 hours or so.
Once upstairs in Labor and Delivery, I expressed my desire to have an unmedicated birth to my nurse. I handed her my birth plan and I knew she could see the disappointment on my face. I was feeling very crampy from the membrane stripping and could tell that my contractions were starting to pick up. I asked her if she could talk to Dr. H about giving me an hour to walk around the hospital to try and jump start things on my own. Dr. H agreed to let me try and progress on my own. After an hour of walking around the L&D floor, I was starting to really feel some contractions and could time them to 3-4 min. apart. Dr. H checked me and sure enough, I had progressed to 3cm! I was elated. She explained to me that she could still feel a band of scar tissue on my cervix and that the best thing would be to try and manually break it up. In order to avoid the “need” for pitocin, she also suggested that she could break my water to try and get things moving faster. I reluctantly agreed to all of the above. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to get in the tub if my water was broken (a well-know natural pain reliever). I was disappointed to have it broken “artificially”, but at this point, I wanted to try and do everything I could to stick with my natural birth plan. The breaking up of the scar tissue was one of the most painful things I have ever felt.
It was around 1pm at this point (Andrew had just arrived), and Dr. H said if my contractions spaced out, she would start pitocin by 2pm. I was determined to keep moving through every contraction. I noticed that whenever I would sit or lay down, they would space out, so I walked and walked and walked through every one. Dr. H agreed to intermittent fetal monitoring so that I could continue to walk around. Adalyn’s heartrate continued to be erratic and the nurses were having trouble establishing a baseline. I had to be monitored lying down for about 30 minutes until they determined that her baseline was in the 130’s. My contractions were starting to get more intense and around this time, I had to start using my breathing to get though them.
Kadi arrived as I was able to get up again, and things got rough shortly after. My contractions really started to pick up in frequency and intensity. I knew from my birthing classes that laboring without the cushion of your water was a lot more painful, and I tried to mentally prepare myself for what was ahead. At about 3:30pm, Dr. H let me know that her shift was over and that she wanted to check me one more time. I was excited to find out that I was at 4cm. She introduced the on-call Dr. P to me (not someone from my practice) and let me continue laboring on my own. Things just got harder and harder, but Dr. P agreed to the limited cervical checks per my birth plan and only checked me upon request.
For 5 ½ hours, my contractions continued to come every minute and last for over a minute, but I still felt in control. I projectile vomited on Andrew twice, but Kadi assured me that it was a good sign and things were moving along. My breathing and labor techniques were working and I was sure at this point, I was close to entering transition and had to be at least 7 cm. My nurse monitored Adalyn’s heartrate every 20 minutes, and she was still doing great too.
Dr. P came back to check me at 9pm. At this point, it had been about 11 hours of active labor. I was extremely disappointed to find out that in 5 ½ hours of painful contractions and a lot of hard work, I hadn’t progressed past 4cm. Although I was now 100% effaced, I can’t even explain what a disappointment this was, and I think this was when I really started to feel defeated. Dr. P told me she could still feel the band of scar tissue and that she would try and break it up. With the threat of pitocin and a c-section looming, I agreed. She said she thought she had successfully broken up the tissue when I let out a loud scream. I continued to labor walking around the hospital, getting on all fours in bed, sitting on the birthing ball, hanging onto Andrew, etc. I was still hopeful that things would progress on their own and knew that I could still handle the contractions. At 10:30pm, I asked Dr. P to check me again. I was starting to doubt myself at this point as I was only getting 30 seconds in between each contraction. Dr. P confirmed 5-6cm. I remember telling her that I couldn’t handle her doing anything with my scar tissue again. After this, things get REALLY fuzzy.
I remember at some point counting only 10-15 second breaks and starting to cry. I remember my playlist and the soothing sounds of Jack Johnson not helping. I remember pleading to not feel another one and I remember not even being able to move. I remember saying to Kadi, “I don’t know what to do. I can’t do this anymore.” She assured me that I was probably in transition, but I started begging for the epidural. I remember saying that I wanted the epidural about 100 times, but I still hadn’t said the code phrase to Andrew. This went on for about two hours. Kadi and Andrew helped me to take one at a time, but soon, the contractions just felt like one ran into the other. I remember finally screaming the code phrase to Andrew. “I want to float down the Comal River”. Andrew told me no. He convinced me to wait to have Dr. P check me and see how far along I was. Unfortunately, Dr. P was in a c-section and it would be at least another 15 minutes before she could check me. I decided that waiting the 15 minutes was impossible. I shouted the code phrase again. Even my nurse was trying to convince me that I was almost there….but I didn’t care. I wanted rest and felt like I had nothing left. Sitting still for the epidural was pure torture, but at 1am, without getting checked, the epidural was in and I was starting to feel relief.
The relief was short lived because Dr. P came in to check me about 1 minute later. Her exact words: “Alex, guess what I don’t feel anymore?” Me: “scar tissue?” Dr. P: “Your cervix. You are 10 cm.”
I couldn’t believe it. I would have been pushing my baby out had I not opted for the epidural. I let myself be disappointed for a few minutes and then requested that the epidural be completely turned off. Now in my right mind, I remembered my desire to feel the urge to push and not be numb. I was also freaking out that I couldn’t feel my legs. It took 2 hours for the epidural to wear off. I was able to rest during that time and I began to feel great about my decision to opt for pain relief. I don’t think I would have had the energy to push had I not gotten the epidural.
At around 3:15am, I let the nurse know that I could feel everything again and could also feel the urge to push. With Andrew, Kadi, and the nurse in the room, I started pushing. I have to say that this was the most difficult thing I have ever done. I was begging for help. At one point I threw my pillow at the nurse. I was dripping sweat. At around 3:50 Dr. P came in. She was very encouraging and told me that she wouldn’t be in all her gear if she didn’t think I was close. I begged for help and begged for her to just take Adalyn out of me. With every push I heard everyone tell me that they could see more and more of her head. Andrew snapped a few shots with the camera. The nurse worked with mineral oil and warm compresses to reduce tearing. Andrew asked to touch her head and did. I reached down a few seconds later. It was definitely motivating, but I continued to scream at the top of my lungs with every push. Apparently, at some point, Dr. P said that I would “meet my baby in the next few pushes”. She was right. I remember grunting and pushing and hearing everyone say “go past that, further, further!” I locked eyes with Andrew and pushed with everything I had in me. I felt the “burning ring of fire” and Adalyn was born a few seconds later at 4:18am. She was placed immediately on my chest. As requested, they did not take her from me while I delivered the placenta (I think that took about 15 minutes). My favorite moment was watching Andrew tear up as he looked at her. After a few minutes, I pulled down my hospital gown and she naturally rooted and breastfed for the first time.
This was by far the most incredible and rewarding thing that has ever happened to me. I couldn’t have done any of it without Andrew. He was so supportive and loving throughout the entire 18 hours. I only yelled at him once (when he took the picture of her crowning!). And Andrew and I agree that we couldn’t have done it without Kadi’s help.
The love of our lives:
Adalyn Kathleen July 30th - 4:18am, 7lbs 10oz., 20.5 in.
