Those Days

You know those days where everything seems to go so wrong that it's almost comical?  Well, yesterday was one of those days where you cry, laugh, scream and just feel relieved when it's finally time to go to bed.  It all started with an email related to work. The venue where we are planning to have the fundraising event suddenly decided to not only jump up the price per person, but also that they could no longer accomodate the date we had penciled in FOREVER ago.  So it was a morning of formally switching venues and all that comes along with that.

Then I was getting ready for a doctor's appointment.  I noticed a lump in my breast about 2 months ago, but I had been ignoring it because I thought it was probably related to nursing.  My mom convinced me to call my doctor about it on Friday and they squeezed me into an appointment yesterday at their office about 30 min. away.  The appointment was at 11:45am, so I was planning on leaving at 11.  The morning was busier than I anticipated, and I tried to reschedule the Dr.'s appointment, only to hear the nurse tell me how crucial is was that I come in as soon as possible. 

So, I was late, as usual these days, and was rushing to get in a quick shower.  [back story:  my back was KILLING me all weekend].  I started the shower and just as I bent down to take the last of my clothes off, the sharpest pain I have ever felt before dropped me to my knees.  I literally could not move, and I was cursing myself for not going to the bathroom right before.  I had to pee SOOO bad and hearing the shower run while I was stuck naked on floor almost resulted in an ummm...accident.  Thankfully, I had just put Adalyn in her jumper, so she was happy, but I had to army crawl Adalyn style to the coffee table to get my phone.  Andrew was going to have to come home.  He talked me into rolling on my back and standing up.  I managed to take a shower and get Adalyn in the car all while calling my chiropractor trying to get in.  Then, I lost service, realized I was lost myself, and just pulled off the side of the road to cry...mostly because of the back pain.  Then the gas light went on. 

I ended up at my Dr's office 15 min. late and then cursed about a million times as I lifted Adalyn and the stroller out of the Jeep, which I was sure wasn't going to start when I returned.

Dr. was concerned with the lump and asked about any family history of breast cancer.  My mom had about 7 lumps removed in her early 30's, but all were benign.  My Dr. set me up with an ultrasound appointment at 2:30 today and then she told me to call this breast oncologist to set up an appointment later in the week.  I honestly wasn't too worried yesterday.  I know a lot people who have had lumps, especially while nursing, and it turned out to be no more than a blocked duct.  But as it turns out, my Dr. was concerned enough to get me an appointment with the specialist today.  So, I'm going for my u/s today and then seeing the specialist at 3:30.  Really hoping it's nothing.  The Jeep did start and I made to the gas station.  And Andrew met me at home at 1pm, so I could lay on my back with ice and the Super Ibprofen they gave me when I had Adalyn.

Of course, my mind has gone to the worst now, and all I can think about was this Sunday, at the park with Andrew and Adalyn and how I didn't get a picture with her.  I rarely get pictures with her since I'm always the one with the camera.  Will she remember me if something happens?  Probably not this young.  See how my mind goes crazy?  I'm meditating on the peace I felt with our family this weekend and the fabulous early spring He has blessed us with.