Hope. And 16 weeks.

Today was the saddest I've felt since maybe, hmmmmm, 9/11 or when my Poppi died.  I was just weeping for humanity all day - weeping for the family and friends that aligned with such hatred, and weeping for the marginalized in our country, weeping especially for my daughters who have to grow up in this world, and praying hard for my son, who will bare so much responsibly as a white male in America.  Ugh.  Just one of the saddest days I can remember.

But then, I felt a flutter in my belly.  It definitely could have been a muscle twitch or digestion from lunch, but there's a chance it was a little kick from our precious bonus baby growing inside my body. It was a reminder that I have to get out of my sadness and give my babies hope and strength to make our world a better place.  I don't support a man who wants to build walls, and I will raise children who knock them down.   Future President in my belly?  Perhaps!

16 weeks has brought a welcome break from constant all day and night nausea of the first trimester, but I am still exhausted as ever.  And being in a high risk pregnancy because of blood clots after Henry is super scary, but I'm just going to choose hope and love for this precious addition.

I'm gaining weight just fine ;) and my prediction is a GIRL, but we aren't planning on finding out the sex.  I just feel a girl in my heart and I think the profile looks like Eloise.  April 25th is baby's actual due date, and as usual, we are praying we make it that far!

Sorry baby#4, I'm too tired to most much more, but please know how loved and wanted you are and we can't wait to meet you in the Spring!