Picture this...

Last night, around 3:45am, I woke to what sounded like Jada (our 12yr old cat) chewing the wires of my hairdryer.  She does this some mornings, when I ignore her meowing and she is hungry.  She knows how to get me out of bed.  I then heard "her" go to Andrew's side of the bed and mess with something under the nightstand.  I brushed it off and didn't want to wake Andrew because he has been really mad her lately (she peed on our bed last week).  But then, suddenly, too quickly for a cat, I heard the noise near my side of the bed.

 Instantly I knew.  It was a freaking mouse!!!   I quickly shook Andrew's shoulder.

In whispers:

Me:  "Andrew, wake up, there's a mouse or something in here.  I know it."
Andrew:  "Alex, it's just the fan blowing things around."
Me:  "No.  I'm telling you, there is some sort of animal in here."

With the light of the video monitor as a flashlight, we sat up in our bed and Andrew pointed the light at the floor - as if to prove to me that when the oscillating fan went by, I would see papers or something move on the floor.  We sat there - still and silent - waiting for something to go by.  Nothing.

Me:  "I'm not staying here alone tomorrow.  You have to get whatever it is out before you leave for work."

Andrew:  "We'll just get mouse tra....."

And then, oh the horror, we saw something dark - with wings flapping - fly over our head.

Us (in whispers):  "Oh shiiiiiiiiiiittttttt"

Me:  (heavy breathing) "Andrew, I have to get out of here.  They have rabies!"
Andrew:  "Ok, ok, come with me."

He pulled our white bedroom sheet over our heads and escorts me to the bathroom.  I slam the door and catch my breath.  I'm glad that for not even a moment, did Andrew consider hiding in the bathroom with me.

Andrew (from outside the bathroom door):  "Hey Al?  Good news and bad news.
Me:  "ok...."
Andrew:  "The bat is out of our bedroom, but it's flying around downstairs."

I open the door to find Andrew, my 6'4 240lb husband, standing in the middle of the stairs in his boxers, with the bed sheet still over his head.  I giggled for a second.  I guess he didn't want to get bit either.

He slowly creeped his way down.

In hopes that it would just fly outside, I told Andrew to open the front door.

Andrew:  "Ok, stand at the top of stairs and watch to see if it flies out.  I'm going to try to get it out."

I stood, crouched down to see the whole doorway, but ready in a second to leap up and lock myself in the bathroom again.

And then the freaking thing started to fly up the stairs.  I shreaked, leaped,  and slammed myself in our bathroom again.

About 20 seconds later, I heard Andrew with heavy breaths, hitting something.  Clearly, he was attempting to knock it out.

Andrew:  "I hit him, but I can't find him."

I shivered at the thought of not knowing where downstairs the bat was hiding.  Behind the fridge?  In the curtains in the living room?

Then, I heard more hitting.  Then, silence.

Andrew made his way up the stairs and I cracked open the bathroom door once more.

Andrew:  "I got him."

Me:  "Why are you coming upstairs?"

Andrew:  "To get my knife."

And he reaches under our bed and pulls out his US Marine standard issue K-BAR knife that he keeps in a box under the bed.  He bought it when he was training with the Navy SEALS....to feel like a bada$$, I guess?

Anyway, he tells me that he knocked it out and it's in the crevice of the sliding door in the living room.

Andrew: "I've always wanted to use my knife".

I didn't even think about being humane at this point.  I'm not gonna lie, I wanted the thing out of our home, dead or alive.

I stood at the top of the stairs and heard the bat make little squeaks.  He was done.

Andrew:  "Do you want to see it?"
Me:  "Kind of.  And I went downstairs."

It looked like a mouse with wings.

At this point it was now 4:30am and Andrew decided to just stay up and go for a run.  I tried to go back to sleep, and maybe did for 20 min. or so before Adalyn woke up.  As sick as she is, she slept through the whole ordeal.

Adalyn is actually as sick as I've ever seen her.  Fever, stuffy, runny, nose and pulling at her ears.  The doctor's office opens at 8:15am and I'm calling and heading over.

As I was writing this, I asked Andrew why he didn't just capture the bat in the shirt that was downstairs and let it outside.  His answer:  "It was my nice golf shirt."

I really think he was just excited to get to use his knife.

I will claim to be an animal person and was even a vegetarian through part of college, but I really could care less about the dead bat.

I'm just glad it's not in here anymore.  The scary thing is, that it must have come in through our partially finished basement.  We left the door to our basement that opens into the living room open last night.

This also happens to be where our laundry is.  You better believe that I'm using this as an excuse to not do laundry for the next few days.  There's no way I'm going down there.

The End.

UPDATE:  It's a good thing he killed it because Animal Control picked it up to be tested for Rabies.  If it's positive, we all need shots since it's carried in the saliva and was flying around.  Praying for a negative result!